He always called me Green Bean. Not babe. Or honey or dear. Sometimes just Bean or sometimes just Green but always one or the other. It was my favorite thing in the world to come home from work and hear him say “hey Green Bean.” I remember one night I started to drift off to sleep with my head on his chest and my arm around him but even though he was wide awake he wouldn’t move  because he didn’t want to wake me. I loved his hugs or just holding his hand. I don’t care much for physical affection from others but I never got tired of it from him. Even after 11 years I wanted to hold his hand, to kiss him and to have him near me. I would give up everything in this world to have that back. He told me he didn’t know what he’d do without me but I have no idea what to do without him. I just can’t fathom living every day of my life without him. There better be some kind of eternity following death because he’s going to be mine for every day of it. I’ve always been selfish and wanted him all to myself. This life took everything from me so death better give me something back.


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